I'M PREGNANT

Hey peeps, it has been a while! Again I have lost it.

No matter how many times I've been determined to keep my blog alive, something happens and this time it's something that's gonna change me forever. Which you all may already know. First of all, I'm truly sorry, especially to my readers and clients. I'll try my best to make it up to all of you. I'm ashamed of myself and I do know that going MIA suddenly is not a good behaviour. Before I start posting up my normal posts again, let me share with you how I have been doing lately.

It has been five months now and I've gone through so much over these months. When I first knew I was pregnant, well I was unsure at first cause I bought a cheap pregnancy test at the drugstore, after my mum kept saying I might be pregnant due to the obvious mood swings and acne I've been getting. I've also been complaining a lot that I feel nauseous most of the time and have been looking for sour things. I even had asked my husband to go to chatime and buy me the sourest drink they have. He said that the chatime people already assumed it wasn't for him since it's rare for a guy to ask something like that.

Anyways, so the pregnancy test I took a first showed clearly doubled red lines, but I was still unsure. I showed my mum and she was like, 'betulah tu' but I still wasn't sure. I took the test early after Subuh and when my husband woke up, my mum shocked him and said 'taniah nak jadi bapak dah'. He had no reaction to it except for a sleepy face. So we went to the clinic that morning for a scan and indeed there was something inside me. But at first I was confused, the Dr said that she see's a fibroid and I should have it checked. She kept saying I need to take care of what I eat and my emotional stress so that the fibroid don't grow bigger. So in the end, I asked, am I pregnant or not? And she said, 'pregnantlah'. Errr... she should have said that in the first place. How should I know? I didn't learn medic and surely not that brilliant in medical terms. 

After I confirmed my pregnancy I didn't know how I felt about it. I was half scared and half excited about it. It made me think a lot, was I ready? Am I mentally and financially stable? My husband didn't say much too but I could tell from his face that he feels the same way like me, and when the news came out, he still hadn't got a job yet. But Allhamdulillah, a week after that he was offered a job as a property agent and it seems that he's doing really well now.

During my first trimester, I wasn't exactly in good shape. I got moody and depressed all the time. I wasn't feeling good at all and really tired. I tried to keep up with my blog, but going to work was already draining me. Once I come home, all I want is my bed and I get super cranky if I don't get my sleep. I had nausea almost the whole day every day, but I wasn't puking until I started drinking maternity milk which was 3 months after. I only came to notice that maternity milk was the reason for it and stopped at my 4th month.

Every pregnant mother must have its trigger to nausea and for me, it was the scent of oil. I thought at first it was fried chicken cause you know every where here in Malaysia you get fried chicken literally everywhere. But then it turns outs, it's actually deep fried cooking oil. I didn't eat chicken for about 3 months and it was painful to the heart. LOL... I ate chicken every single day for my life and now I couldn't. That's pure torture.

Another trigger was my husband. Seriously no kidding. It's his body scent, not that he stinks, it's just that I couldn't stand it. I felt like puking. I used to love his scent but then I just couldn't. Even sleeping I had to put layers of pillows between us so I don't accidentally go near him. #pasrah. Kesian suami aku. Thank goodness that's all recovered now. I can finally hug him all I want.

I had a lot of hormonal changes and I easily tend to cry. Even by the simplest things, I can't hold back and I know my husband had a really tough time. So I usually come back to religion during these time. Beristigfar, mengaji, which helps. And I keep calling my mum as well when I feel moody and down just for a chat. Since I got pregnant, my husband got busy as well and even on weekends, he has to work. So what he does to avoid me being emotional is send me back to my mom's house every weekend which is a good thing as well. At least I got company and my mum needs me to drive her as well. The best part is my mum will be cooking. Hehe...

My baby's progress, on the other hand, seems fine for now. Just that I'm still checking my fibroid case with the hospital. My last scan with the hospital shows that my tiny baby has already tiny arms and legs and it was 16 weeks that time. I literally almost cried since the Dr was so nice and let me have a few minutes to see my baby moving very actively inside. It was jumping up and down and I just couldn't believe my eyes. Seems so unreal eventhough it is.

As most of you may know that I'm a makeup junkie. I always make sure I have my face done if there is an occasion or event. But no more makeup now, even to put on lipstick has become so hard for me. I can't even... my heart totally blocked makeup away and I look horrible as ever. LOL... I don't even want to dress up as well. My mum keeps nagging saying that I should at least look neat, but no matter how I try, I end up looking sloppy. I seriously have no effort into myself appearance for now. I wish this is only temporary. I'm still young.

Now as you guessed, I'm already in my 2nd trimester, 19 weeks and my bump is already showing. It's getting better, I'm starting to gain back that extra energy I lost from the past few months but still, it has its time. All I have to make sure is I get enough sleep and rest. My appetite is growing again but I can't eat a large meal at once. Need to frequently eat little portions from time to time so snacks are everywhere for me.

Overall I think that's it for this update. I'm beginning to blog again and will start publishing new posts starting from tomorrow. I'm also gonna slowly change my blog to a parenting blog and so excited to add this new section as well. That's all for now for my pregnancy journey this time, will update more soon with pictures next time. Btw, should I vlog my pregnancy experience? Hehe.. 

Till then peeps.